Random Pondering

I have been feeling so many different emotions lately. Overwhelmed, stress, hurt, frustration, unloved, alone.

Work hasn't been enjoyable for quite a while now. While I am trying to change my mindset, to make it better, it isn't always easy. I am getting new tasks, which is  good and I am very thankful for the chance to further my knowledge.

However, I literally have to take a deep breath every morning before I enter to building, just to get myself to go in.

Classes on the other hand are very fun, why didn't I listen to myself 14 years ago when I loved going down to the Early Childhood Center on campus? Oh well, can't dwell. Just need to find something that I love doing, hopefully it will be in the new degree, if I am able to finish it. Now that there are 7 weeks of actual class time left, I just need to focus on what needs to be done, and take one step at a time. There will be stressful times, but I can make it easier by not waiting until the last minute to get things done.

Then there is home.....I have felt so alone lately.  At times I feel like we are wanting very different things out of life. I really want a family, but can't say that he wants the same. He says he does, then always comes up with excuses/reasons why we need to wait.

I am pretty close to saying if we don't have a family by end of 2016, then I don't think we will have one. Mainly for the reason of my age, I will turn 38 in 2017, and second I am tired of getting up the hope and then having it smashed. So in a sense it would be a timeline for my heart to get used to the fact that it won't be a mom.

It hurts when you see friends/family expecting. And while I am absolutely ecstatic for them, I can't help but judge myself and ask, "why doesn't he want a family with me?"

A minor breakdown:

This was me about a week ago. I had a minor breakdown. Too much stuff to handle in one day. and too much stress and pent up emotion for too long.  But I had a good cry, met with a great friend and moved on. While I am not sure where I am headed, I am at least trying to refocus myself to realizing that life is just a ride. We don't know when the ride is over, but in the meantime we just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Family Room

I needed to tackle the family room because we were having family come up and would need the extra space for air mattresses. Now, I didn't do the family room the way I would have wanted, which would have been to go through every bin, drawer, box, etc to see if whatever was inside was actually needed. If it was then to find a better home for it.

No I did what Jason mentioned and that was to put everything in the office and deal with it later. It is stacked rather nicely, but now the office is pretty unusable. I will tackle that room later though.

However I am quite pleased with the progress of the family room.

What I started with. The items in the right foreground are items to be donated.

View from office door back to what I was starting with

Second weekend of working on this. Got the white chairs cleaned, seat covers to dry cleaners. See the bigger donation pile on the left hand side! Makes me so happy ! Lower left hand side is all stuff needing to be washed and stored (which is done!).

Different view. One side of the family room wasn't too bad so it was just a quick pick up. 

Pretty much the finished picture. The fabric cubes on the right side are extra bedding for family arriving. Air mattress and mattress are on white chairs. 

View from other side. Donation pile still needs to leave, but I keep adding to it.

Overall it took 3 weekends of working in the family room. That time wasn't continuous as I did break it up to save my sanity. It isn't perfect, but it sure is a lot better than it was. I know it will be even nicer when I don't have air mattresses in the middle of the floor from nephews visiting. 

Still need curtains for the windows and the patio door-can't find any I like in Moscow or ones that I can get 2 sets of if I do find a pattern/color I like. I am hanging a denim curtain on the right side of the fire place where the firewood box is. I also might do something to hide the extra plastic bins that are now empty, but I am not wanting to get rid of because they are expensive to replace. That area is next to the chest freezer or to the left of the fireplace.

Now to the next task.....the office.  DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Valentine's Day Dinner

I can't actually recall the last time Jason and I went to dinner for Valentine's Day. We usually just stay home and I make something. We had a bad experience at a restaurant many years ago that made us start doing this.

However, Moscow has a great little BBQ place called CD's Smoke Pit.  And they were going to do a Valentine's Day Dinner, so Jason and I decided to give it a try.

We love their food and I will tell you they did not disappoint . Here is the menu.

Candied Bacon-  it was like candy!

Lentil soup-nice and thick

The Pork Tenderloin Pinwheels. Oh My Goodness!!!! Delicious!

The smoked Pink Lady Apple- the smokiness of the apple and the sweetness of the ice cream and caramel was a perfect combination.

A friend joined us as well and that was a lot of fun. For our first Valentine's Dinner out in years it was a great success. CD's may just have to become tradition when it comes to celebrating Valentine's Day.

Bathroom Organization

So one of the challenges on the 14 week Organization Challenge is bathrooms. I tackled the master bathroom a day earlier than the actual start of the challenge week, but I was on a roll.

I watched a video by Alejandra Costello that inspired me to try taking everything off the bathroom counter.

Here is the before:

Pretty chaotic in my opinion and not the best thing to greet you first thing in the morning. Oh and the diet coke was for the project...it does not greet me first thing in the morning.

After some cleaning and organizing:

Now Jason's stuff is on his side of the counter. Too bad we only use one sink....which drives me CRAZY. I love the feeling of calm that comes over me when I walk in now. Just like Alejandro said you would feel. I should take pictures of my drawers, they are organized as well. It doesn't take me any longer to get ready in the morning than it did before, but the mental impact that happens with being cleaned and organized sure is amazing. 

This is obviously underneath the cabinet. I didn't take a before picture, but this is a drastic improvement. I added the door basket.

While working on the bathroom, I decided to tackle the shower.  I found a bathroom pumice stone at Bed Bath &Beyond. We have really hard water here, so the shower has never really been clean. I scrubbed one side of the shower with this pumice stone. Can you see where I haven't finished yet? The results are pretty surprising. It does take some elbow grease. I did the shower ceiling on President's day and that made a pretty big difference. I need to continue working on the shower and figure out how to seal it so it doesn't get that bad again.

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As mentioned above I decided to add pictures of my drawers. They are organized as well. And I put everything back as soon as I am done using it. Been doing this now for almost 2 weeks. It gets easier and easier and I love the feeling knowing the isn't cluttered.

Organizing Challenge-Bedroom

As I have mentioned I have been slowly working on an Organizing Challenge.  Here is the checklist if anyone is interested.

I haven't done  the challenge in order, but I am trying to do something at least every week. If it takes me longer that is okay too.

I worked on our bedroom a little while ago. And while we could use some furniture, and flooring and wall decor I am happy with it for now.  I am seriously considering taking the bed frame apart as the mattresses already sit on the floor because you would need a small ladder to crawl into bed if we had the frame fully set up the way it is intended. I am thinking about just doing a padded headboard, but we will see if I can talk Jason into the idea.

I didn't take a lot of before pictures, because I just forgot. In this one you can see my beside table (the right side).

 New bedding from Bed Bath & Beyond

 I love our little kinetic sculpture sleeping away on the bed. Surprisingly Jason doesn't seem to mind the pillows and I love the way they look.

 The 3 bags by the antique high chair were recently taken out as they were donation items. See what I mean by needing some furniture.

I use a chest as a bedside table at the moment. I was using just the top of it and thought let's try something different. The chest was empty, so I figured I would open it up and use the tray inside. I actually really like it. I got a little mail sorter to hold my phone and tablet while they charge.
The bottom of the chest has magazine folders holding some magazines that are sorted by name. My goal is to go through those magazines every few months and get rid of ones I no longer need or want. In this process I recycled probably 20 magazines. I was a little embarrassed by this to be honest.


Master Bedroom Inspiration

Below are just some ideas of things I am tossing around in my head for some wall decor in our room.

The  first 3 pictures below are using ceiling medallions on the wall. Ours would be painted white of course to contrast the walls.

LOVE these!

with our initials of course

all in white-maybe on one side of the window or the wall by the bathroom

Or some type of mirror. Most of these ideas are just for above the bed. I have some other ideas for the other walls around the room as well.

New Wall Decor

We have lived in our house for 5 years now. Wow 5 years! Where does time go?

We still have lots of projects that we want to accomplish, and that list seems to be getting longer and longer. Anyway I digress.

I joined a 14 week organizing challenge. And while I haven't been following the weekly challenges like everyone, I have been doing my own thing. The Facebook page helps keep me motivated to a small degree. But mainly I LOVE the feeling of getting rid of stuff, it is like a weight is taken off. Now if only it would really take the weight off, I have some I could lose.

I also decided I was going to start working on finally adding some life or personality into some of the rooms that have been neglected up until now.

So I turned to the all addicting website known as Pinterest for ideas. Yeah I love that site.  First I decided to tackle the laundry room.

The laundry room needs some help, and I have an idea board for stuff I would like to incorporate in there if possible. But until those projects become a glimmer of a reality I decided to add some artwork. This is only one wall, the other wall still needs sheetrock replaced.

Right above the light switch when you walk in

Laundry room wall decor

I still have some stuff I want to add. But doing it in bits and pieces.




I also added some wall decor to the hallway at the bottom of the stairs.

I have a metal flower piece that I think I am going to add to the wall in the first picture below. We will see how how it looks.

Add caption

Found at Bed Bath &Beyond.

This is the inspiration of what I want to do on the wall you see as you walk down the stairs. Now if only I was crafty enough to do it. May have to supply the canvas to someone and have them do it. This picture just makes me smile.

So small progress, but to me it makes a big difference in adding some personality to the house. 

Organizing Challenge

I decided to do this organizing challenge I found on Pinterest. It is the Bowl Full of Lemons 14 Week Organizing Challenge.

I did Week 1: Kitchen challenge, though I didn't clean out all the cabinets and wash them like she asks us to. I did go though our pantry and redid that.  Below are the AFTER pictures.

I also wanted to work on our tea cabinet which was a disaster in my opinion. There was tea behind tea, behind tea. Not to mention all the different strainers we have that don't stack well.
Here is the BEFORE:

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Here is the AFTER:

I found the best thing for all the boxes of tea!  It is the YouCopia Tea Stand.  You can see it on the bottom right. It helped a lot.

I still have another cabinet I want to go through. Hopefully I can do it this weekend, since it is a long weekend. it is our corner cabinet located right next to the tea cabinet. We will see how that goes.

Week 2: Laundry room.  I worked on the Laundry room last summer and have maintained it rather well. So I focused on the metal shelves that were in the laundry room. I hate having them in there, but they are there for the foreseeable future and I need to make them work for me. 

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Still have some stuff to work on, but it is better.  The top 3 shelves still really need some help.

 I really want to install base cabinets and some more upper cabinets. But I know Jason and I will differ on that. He will want to make them, and  I want them before I move out (which isn't going to be anytime soon).  

I have ideas on ways to decorate the room, and need to start doing little things down there.  

In this process I also found a great Facebook Page that is tied to this challenge. It is a great place to go for support, encouragement, decor and cleaning questions, along with other things.