Abner

On October 22nd, we lost our kitty Abner. He was 14.5 years old.  Jason was home and said that Abner just went downstairs and never came back up.

As I looked back to see if we had missed anything, the only thing I had noticed was he had to be near me. Either sitting on my lap or sitting next to me on the arm of the sofa.  I think it was his way of saying his time was near.

He was very small for being a Main Coon cat, and when I took his little body into the vet to be cremated the vet mentioned how skinny he was. He would eat and drink, unlike Cauchy did, but he just couldn't gain or maintain weight near the end.

His fur was starting to look pretty bad too, he was getting some bald spots and his fur just wasn't growing back.

While I am very sad that he passed so closely to Cauchy, I am glad too. Cauchy and Abner were best buds, and he had always watched out for her. I am also glad that his suffering was very short, or at least appeared to be short, if he was suffering we didn't know about it. So the original group of cats we had gathered while living in the condo: Fergus, Abner, Cauchy, and Bluebell are all back together again.

I do miss his beautiful green eyes, and his super soft purr. We had Abner for 14 years, and those are 14 years I will cherish! We love and miss you buddy!

When you are tiny, you get put into ice chests.

Best Buds: Abner and Cauchy

Abner and Cauchy

Fergus and Abner

Busy Watering Hole

Laying in the extension cord is much more comfortable than the bed behind me

Jason testing out the headlamps we got-Poor Abner so picked on.

Abner and Cauchy

Abner and Cauchy-the box was a safe space apparently

Abner snuggles

Cauchy

We said goodbye to miss Cauchy on Monday, September 14th.

She stopped eating regularly back in June, and we got her some medicine to help. She improved her eating habits only slightly, and it had to be canned food.

Then she got super picky on what canned food, it had to have gravy. But then she wouldn't eat the "meat" she would only eat the gravy part.

I found cat bisque, which is pretty much a soup. She ate that fairly regularly. I found some food that I felt had more nutrient, and I started to puree it and add more water.

Cauchy was very dehydrated, and nothing I could do would get her to drink water more than once every few weeks. Figured if I added it too her food, at least it was something.

She would have good and bad days. Good days she would eat a ton, then she would go 1-2 days without eating anything.

Blood work came back puzzling as her kidneys, despite not drinking anything, were normal. The only thing that came back out of wack was one, just one of her liver enzymes. The vet was puzzled by that because it was alone.  She did feel a hard mass in her stomach, and we scheduled to have an ultrasound done. But ultimately we cancelled it. We decided that whatever was found, though it might be fixable, Jason and I weren't sure if she would survive a surgery with not having eaten in so long.

She had about a month between the vet and when she left us. She was cuddling more with me, and would have good and bad days eating wise. She did tons of sleeping.

We went to Tri-Cities for my brother and sister-in-laws baby shower. I put Cauchy downstairs so she would be able to move around without being bothered by Casper as she still despised him.

We got home Sunday and before I even got in the house ( I move a little slower right now) Jason had disappeared. I heard some noise downstairs so I headed that way, when Jason opened the door to the basement with her in his hand, saying she had been laying in the litter box.

He gave her a bath, and then asked me for the blow dryer. He sat in there drying her with that. I never went in, which while I think back it was probably a good thing. Jason knew before I did her true condition that night and he was protecting my heart.

She hung out in the bathroom for several hours, with him going in and drying her some more.  He finally brought her out and put her in a box and I got her a warm towel out of the dryer.  She just kind of sunk in the box, like she didn't have the energy to sit up.  I knew then it was bad. She had crawled into the litter box to die.

I kept her warm and was able to hold and cuddle her. This was very special to me, as she was a stray who just walked in one day and was never big on cuddling or being held or anything. But she put her head on my shoulder and under my chin, and just let me hold her.

I told her she could leave, it would be okay.

I put her back in the box and made sure she was wrapped up warm. I heard her meow 3 times early Monday morning, and I just knew she was gone,

I got up Monday morning, and though I knew when I went to bed Sunday night it was her last night, it was still hard finding her gone Monday morning.

We had her cremated like her sister Bluebell and Fergus and she is back home sitting on the piano next to them. Our home is emptier, but she isn't suffering anymore.

Below are just a few pictures taken of her during 13 years we had the honor of sharing with her.

Taken Summer of 2015

Both were thirsty

Resting in the carrier with her mouse

January 2015

September 2, 2015 She was laying on me, which had never happened before.
12 days before she died

Sunning the belly

Blocking the heat for the rest of us

Best Buddies-Abner and Cauchy

I found a comfy spot!

I will lay anywhere.

Love you Cauchy!

Baby Flynn- 20 Weeks

I am just a little behind posting. Sorry.

We had our 20 week ultrasound on September 4th. Luckily Jason made it back from his work trip.
That was quite the ordeal.

He got to Seattle just fine, but just after he let me know this, he got an alert saying that his flight to Pullman was cancelled. He goes to the ticket counter and they know nothing about the flight being cancelled-so Google knew about it before the airlines did.

The ticketing desk finally gets confirmation that the flight to Pullman is cancelled due to weather. The weather in Pullman/Moscow was gorgeous, so it wasn't on our end.

Needless to say I was starting to panic that Jason wouldn't be back in time for our ultrasound at 8am. He was on his way to talk to the ticketing agent to get a rental car voucher, so he could drive the 6 hours home, when they were notified that they were being flown into Lewiston.

GREAT!!! Yes it is a further drive for me, but I was just excited that he would be home. So I headed down to Lewstion to pick up him at midnight (mind you, I am usually in bed by 11 at the latest).

Fast forward to the morning, and we head to the hospital for our ultrasound.  It was so cold that morning!

We get started early, amazing I know! I got covered in warm blankets, gotta love those.  Little stinker wasn't holding still for all the measurements she needed to take. And then when we wanted to verify gender, baby wouldn't move for a good picture.

Finally after some prodding baby moved and we got visual verification that we are having a little BOY!!!  We have known since 14 weeks, since that is what the NIPS test told us we were having, but nice to see the little "turtle" as the ultrasound tech called it.

We had decided on a name already; Colm. His name means dove or peace. Middle names, yes names are still being decided. They will either be Jack Albert or Marcus Albert, we just aren't sure which set yet.

We are excited, now just need to start working on his room, after we, (I mean Jason) finishes other projects (current one is installing an Iron Clear filtration system and an on demand water heater).

**Update: 24 weeks
I haven't been able to feel much of anything because of an anterior placenta. This means Colm has much more to push through for me to feel things.

However, I have noticed more flutters or bubbles on 9/27 & 9/28 while I am just sitting. I am excited to be able to fell him, though I am sure my thoughts will change in a few months and I want to sleep. :)  However right now I will take it.

In the bottom picture above he has his nose in the placenta.

We were also told that one of his kidneys was measuring 2 mm bigger than normal. Doctor said not to worry since the normal only covers 95% of people. I had to tell myself that I am not surprised, since I have been an outlier on many things myself.  We will do another ultrasound some time in October.  So we will get to see him 4 times instead of the normal 2! They just want to see if it has gotten bigger or stayed where it was. They can't do anything until he is born if the kidney is bigger, but we will have a plan of action in place if it comes it it. In the mean time, I can't do anything about it, so I am not stressing and it would do neither of us any good.

Baby Flynn- Spokane Appointment

Since I am older, the doctor recommended that we go to Spokane to the Maternal-Fetal Clinic at Sacred Heart. We elected to do this to better prepare ourselves just in case there was an issue.

The Spokane Appointment was on July 14th. I was so scared and nervous.  We met with a genetic counselor. That was interesting and helpful. She talked about the different tests that we can do. We elected to do the NIPS test (Non-Invasive Prenatal Screening).  They take my blood, and a cheek swab from Jason and then they send it off to a lab. The lab will isolate my cells and remove them, so then all that should be left is some cells from the baby. They look at chromosomes for Down Syndrome, Trisomy 13 and 18 and extra chromosomes only. They don't factor in my age which the other more well known blood work does, this one just looks at the baby.  They say the results are really accurate if they are able to isolate the cells like they need to.

It was a quite an ordeal to get blood out of me that day as my veins decided not to cooperate real well. The Women's Center decided to have me go to the hospital lab to have my blood drawn, so they give me the order and the vials they would use.  So here I am walking through the halls of Sacred Heart carrying my own blood vials.  You have to check in at the Surgery Center for any Lab work, so after we figured that out, it was fairly quick.

They tried my right arm in the normal spot for me, and while they were able to draw blood, it didn't want to flow real well.  So then I start downing some water, and they put hot packs on my left arm and one of my hands.

The left arm, as usual, would not cooperate at all, so they didn't even try.  The first phlebotomist (who attempted the right arm) called in someone else just to double check.  The second one decided it might be best to just try the hand.  They were able to fill both vials, but those top of hand draws do hurt a little more.

The funny thing, is that I got to take the now filled vials back to the Women's Center. How often does that happen?!

We should hear results some time during the week of July 20-24. 

We also got to have another ultrasound.  It was very neat to see the difference between the baby at 10 weeks and 13 weeks.  It went looking like a gummy bear, to looking like a little human.

 At one point one of the hands was up by the head, and near the end it was right by the mouth. So the little one could be finding its fingers very soon if it hasn't already. We go to see it jump up and down a few times.

The fluid level they look closely at on the base of the neck measured 2.6. So the doctor gave us a gold star there.

We got some other printouts from the ultrasound, but they are so tiny (like the foot) they are hard to see. 

A Great Adventure is about to Begin!

While this is now Facebook public, I haven't written about it here. One reason, I am just bad at updating the blog.

Anyway-back to our great adventure.

On Mother's Day I found out I was pregnant. For everyone who knows me, having a family has been a very big deal to me, and now that it is happening I am just scared.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

We told family the next day, but kept it mostly quiet, except for a few friends here and there. I wanted some women who I love and trust deeply to know so that I had support for what I was going through.

Our first doctor's appointment was June 22nd-right after Father's Day. I say seeing the baby was a pretty good present.  Here is the first picture of baby Flynn. Hear rate was measuring 159, if I remember correctly

The little Gummy Bear-10 weeks 2 days

Here was our Facebook Announcement:

I came across this Winnie the Pooh quote and just had to use it.  A great adventure really is about to begin. 

Little Concert featuring Yosi Mesbah

We were very lucky to have been graced with the presence of Yosi Mesbah last week. She grew up in the area, and is now currently in Nashville trying to make it as a singer/songwriter.

She was on a little tour, and we were lucky that she made a stop in Moscow.

This is her Facebook Page:  https://www.facebook.com/YosiSongs

Her CD Cellar and Sky is beautiful. You can buy that here.   She will also release a live version of the best performances from each concert. I can't tell you how beautiful her songs were, you just have to experience it for yourself

Childhood Development Toy Project 2015

Yes, I know this is a little behind. I was recently going through my phone and realized I have a bunch of pictures that I took with the sole purpose of posting on the blog. As you can see I haven't done that yet.

So I took 2 more classes this past Spring, they were pretty fun. One was on Childhood Developmet-Ages birth to age 8.  While I didn't walk out of there with much sticking in my head, the class was interesting.

We were tasked with creating a toy for a specific age group. We needed to clearly describe what it does developmentally for the child.

There were just 2 people in my group, and I think we rocked our little project.

We based our toy off of of The Melissa and Doug Grasping Toy

Here is the concept behind our project:

~ Shapes, textures, colors, patterns, and numbers to help kids learn those things
~ Helps develop fine motor skills, eye-hand coordination and cognitive learning.
~ 2 Design options- articulating or a string/bead option that has multiple holes the child can use to put a string through

Here are some pictures. I made a mock-up of the different shapes we would use using Crayola Model Magic.  This stuff is so much fun to work with!!!

Here is what we came up with.

These were our original ideas for shapes

I added these at the last minute

Then I worked on finalizing the patterns and textures on the shapes that were getting that treatment.

So the square has raised dots. The rectangle has q-tips I cut then ends off of. The Circle is the fuzzy thing in the middle. Then we had different patterns. My partner and I both love giraffes, so that is why the heart is a giraffe print. The back side of the pattern shapes have reflective paper.

Here is our poster board:

I would do the poster board a little differently now by taking the black edging off the shapes.  The lettering is vinyl peel and stick. Those are awesome for posters by the way. However the underside of my nails were sore for a couple of days from peeling the letters off the sheet.

Our classmates got to grade our projects in a sense by commenting on which ones were their favorites. We apparently got some good feedback. We were also the only ones with an actual thing to hold.

Random Pondering

I have been feeling so many different emotions lately. Overwhelmed, stress, hurt, frustration, unloved, alone.

Work hasn't been enjoyable for quite a while now. While I am trying to change my mindset, to make it better, it isn't always easy. I am getting new tasks, which is  good and I am very thankful for the chance to further my knowledge.

However, I literally have to take a deep breath every morning before I enter to building, just to get myself to go in.

Classes on the other hand are very fun, why didn't I listen to myself 14 years ago when I loved going down to the Early Childhood Center on campus? Oh well, can't dwell. Just need to find something that I love doing, hopefully it will be in the new degree, if I am able to finish it. Now that there are 7 weeks of actual class time left, I just need to focus on what needs to be done, and take one step at a time. There will be stressful times, but I can make it easier by not waiting until the last minute to get things done.

Then there is home.....I have felt so alone lately.  At times I feel like we are wanting very different things out of life. I really want a family, but can't say that he wants the same. He says he does, then always comes up with excuses/reasons why we need to wait.

I am pretty close to saying if we don't have a family by end of 2016, then I don't think we will have one. Mainly for the reason of my age, I will turn 38 in 2017, and second I am tired of getting up the hope and then having it smashed. So in a sense it would be a timeline for my heart to get used to the fact that it won't be a mom.

It hurts when you see friends/family expecting. And while I am absolutely ecstatic for them, I can't help but judge myself and ask, "why doesn't he want a family with me?"

A minor breakdown:

This was me about a week ago. I had a minor breakdown. Too much stuff to handle in one day. and too much stress and pent up emotion for too long.  But I had a good cry, met with a great friend and moved on. While I am not sure where I am headed, I am at least trying to refocus myself to realizing that life is just a ride. We don't know when the ride is over, but in the meantime we just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Family Room

I needed to tackle the family room because we were having family come up and would need the extra space for air mattresses. Now, I didn't do the family room the way I would have wanted, which would have been to go through every bin, drawer, box, etc to see if whatever was inside was actually needed. If it was then to find a better home for it.

No I did what Jason mentioned and that was to put everything in the office and deal with it later. It is stacked rather nicely, but now the office is pretty unusable. I will tackle that room later though.

However I am quite pleased with the progress of the family room.

What I started with. The items in the right foreground are items to be donated.

View from office door back to what I was starting with

Second weekend of working on this. Got the white chairs cleaned, seat covers to dry cleaners. See the bigger donation pile on the left hand side! Makes me so happy ! Lower left hand side is all stuff needing to be washed and stored (which is done!).

Different view. One side of the family room wasn't too bad so it was just a quick pick up. 

Pretty much the finished picture. The fabric cubes on the right side are extra bedding for family arriving. Air mattress and mattress are on white chairs. 

View from other side. Donation pile still needs to leave, but I keep adding to it.

Overall it took 3 weekends of working in the family room. That time wasn't continuous as I did break it up to save my sanity. It isn't perfect, but it sure is a lot better than it was. I know it will be even nicer when I don't have air mattresses in the middle of the floor from nephews visiting. 

Still need curtains for the windows and the patio door-can't find any I like in Moscow or ones that I can get 2 sets of if I do find a pattern/color I like. I am hanging a denim curtain on the right side of the fire place where the firewood box is. I also might do something to hide the extra plastic bins that are now empty, but I am not wanting to get rid of because they are expensive to replace. That area is next to the chest freezer or to the left of the fireplace.

Now to the next task.....the office.  DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Valentine's Day Dinner

I can't actually recall the last time Jason and I went to dinner for Valentine's Day. We usually just stay home and I make something. We had a bad experience at a restaurant many years ago that made us start doing this.

However, Moscow has a great little BBQ place called CD's Smoke Pit.  And they were going to do a Valentine's Day Dinner, so Jason and I decided to give it a try.

We love their food and I will tell you they did not disappoint . Here is the menu.

Candied Bacon-  it was like candy!

Lentil soup-nice and thick

The Pork Tenderloin Pinwheels. Oh My Goodness!!!! Delicious!

The smoked Pink Lady Apple- the smokiness of the apple and the sweetness of the ice cream and caramel was a perfect combination.

A friend joined us as well and that was a lot of fun. For our first Valentine's Dinner out in years it was a great success. CD's may just have to become tradition when it comes to celebrating Valentine's Day.

Bathroom Organization

So one of the challenges on the 14 week Organization Challenge is bathrooms. I tackled the master bathroom a day earlier than the actual start of the challenge week, but I was on a roll.

I watched a video by Alejandra Costello that inspired me to try taking everything off the bathroom counter.

Here is the before:

Pretty chaotic in my opinion and not the best thing to greet you first thing in the morning. Oh and the diet coke was for the project...it does not greet me first thing in the morning.

After some cleaning and organizing:

Now Jason's stuff is on his side of the counter. Too bad we only use one sink....which drives me CRAZY. I love the feeling of calm that comes over me when I walk in now. Just like Alejandro said you would feel. I should take pictures of my drawers, they are organized as well. It doesn't take me any longer to get ready in the morning than it did before, but the mental impact that happens with being cleaned and organized sure is amazing. 

This is obviously underneath the cabinet. I didn't take a before picture, but this is a drastic improvement. I added the door basket.

While working on the bathroom, I decided to tackle the shower.  I found a bathroom pumice stone at Bed Bath &Beyond. We have really hard water here, so the shower has never really been clean. I scrubbed one side of the shower with this pumice stone. Can you see where I haven't finished yet? The results are pretty surprising. It does take some elbow grease. I did the shower ceiling on President's day and that made a pretty big difference. I need to continue working on the shower and figure out how to seal it so it doesn't get that bad again.

************

As mentioned above I decided to add pictures of my drawers. They are organized as well. And I put everything back as soon as I am done using it. Been doing this now for almost 2 weeks. It gets easier and easier and I love the feeling knowing the isn't cluttered.